


Since Puberty

by Sourstarbursts



Series: The Complex Delicate Interpersonal Relationships Of Three Teenage Boys [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Background Relationships, Blink and you’ll miss it one sided stozier, Character Study, First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 09:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20598374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourstarbursts/pseuds/Sourstarbursts
Summary: Truth or dare is hard when you’re a 14 year old gay boy in the 80s who’s been dared to kiss his best friend who he is also in love with and also he hates himself for being gay.





	Since Puberty

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a companion piece to my most recent doc since I got some one sided stozier!!! Also a character study and only pining happens fidkfoslkd lol I promise I will write a fic where two characters actually get together at some point.
> 
> Also again I write almost exclusively original screenplays so sorry if this almost reads like one

It became a tradition for the losers, that when one of them had a really bad day, they’d all try their hardest to drop everything they were doing that night and hang out at the club house. Stan would snatch a bottle of wine from his parents liquor cabinet. The liquor cabinet without the lock on it. They trusted Stan not to go in there. The others would bring board games, snacks, and blankets to lay down on the wooden floor.

The meeting was called earlier that morning after Ben was feeling particularly shitty after an altercation with Bowers. Stan found him crying in the boys bathroom. He told all the losers that they would be meeting tonight on Ben’s behalf.

It was about 11 pm when Richie threw his backpack out his window, and climbed down the side of his house. He was very lucky his parents bedroom was on the other side of the house. If Maggie and Went found out their son was sneaking out of the house at 11 on a school night, they’d probably sell his new Nintendo 64 he just got for his 13th birthday.

He left his bike in the driveway. Just in case his dad decided to take out the trash before he went to bed. Richie walked instead.

——

When he arrived at the club house everyone was already there, sitting on the quilts and pillows laid out on the ground. They passed around a bag of chips and a bowl of guacamole, chatting as they ate. Ben was leaned into Bev’s shoulder as she rubbed soothing circles on his back. 

“Y-you’re 15 minutes l-late.” Bill stated as Richie climbed down the ladder.

“Not my fault my house is in assfuck nowhere, we can’t all be blessed to live by the club house!” Richie said, throwing his backpack down next to Eddie and sitting down. Just seeing the sight of the boy’s face made Richie breakout in a grin so wide it would start to hurt his cheeks. Richie didn’t understand why Eddie’s cute little pout made him so inexplicably happy.

Eddie met his gaze, trying his hardest to put on his “Really Richie? 15 minutes late?” Face. But once he saw richie’s dopey smile, the corners of his mouth start to turn up.

“Just be glad we didn’t lock the door and have you sleep out in the cold.” Stan remarked. 

“Well it's cold in here too so it wouldn’t be too different.” Richie said, wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, “Plus, you’d miss me too much Stanley! Me and my sweet luscious lips.” Richie leaned over to Stan making kissy faces.

“Come any closer to me and I’ll punch you in your sweet, luscious lips.” Stan spat, pushing a laughing Richie back.

“So they are luscious.” 

Stan rolled his eyes. Richie then turned towards Eddie.

“Speaking of sweet, hows my precious Eds doing?”

“Shut the fuck up, we were in the middle of a game.” 

“Ooo, what game?” Richie turned to the rest of the group.

“Would you rather.” Bev answered.

“Oh fuck yeah! I'm the best at this bitch I win every time.”

“You can't win at would you rather.” Mike laughed.

“Not with that attitude.” Richie grinned.

“Bill, its was your turn before Richie rudely interrupted.” Eddie says.

“Rudely?! All I did was show up!”

“Your face is rude.” Stan.

“Bill, goooo.” Bev groaned.

“O-okay. Mike, would you r-rather eat a can of live w-w-orms, or live roaches?” 

Mike grimaced thinking about both of those scenarios. After debating in his head he comes to the conclusion:

“Roaches. Way less slimy. Plus, my Aunt said she once had a lollipop with a cricket in it when she visited Australia and she said it wasn’t that bad. Crickets probably taste the same as roaches, right?” Mike answered.

“I’d eat both, I wouldn’t even have to be asked.” Bev said. Richie groans, fully content with going the entire day without being reminded that Bev would eat bugs as a kid and enjoyed it. 

“Dude, fucking gross.” Eddie made a disgusted face. Ben laughed, not being grossed out in the slightest since he used to eat spoonfuls of dirt as a kid. God, they really were perfect for each other.

“Mike, your t-turn now!” Bill laughed.

“Oh god, okay let's see.” Mike pondered, trying to think of the best possible question.

“Okay. Bev, if you had to; would you rather… marry Stan or Eddie.” Mike asked. Bev laughed at both of those ideas.

“Ouch!” Eddie and Stan said at the same time, smiling none of the less.

“If I HAD, to pick… Stan. By a long shot.” Bev stated. Stan laughed and pumped his fist. 

“What?!” Eddie exclaimed, offended.

“What?!” Richie exclaimed, offended on Eddies behalf.

“Eddie, I love you my dear, but I don’t think I’d be able to put up with how loud you are allllll the time.” Bev said. 

“That’s what makes Eddie the correct choice! Because he’s so loud all the time.” Richie defended.

“I’m not loud all the time, oh my god how am I loud at all I’m probably one of the most quiet ones here!” Eddie yelled.

“S-So R-Rich, if you had to marry Eddie or Stan, you’d pick Eddie?” Bill smirked.

Richie face turned a deep shade of red, “quick,” Richie thought, “start talking so they don’t notice!!”

“Well yeah of course! It would probably be way more exciting listening to Eddie yell about whatever he’s yelling about then to sit through Stan’s knot tying monologues for the rest of my years!” Richie laughed, eyes darting back and forth across the losers faces. His eyes land on Stan, who currently looks like he’s just been slapped across the face. Fuck. Was that mean? Richie could never tell when he crossed the line.

Before Richie could do any sort of damage control, Mike swooped in for him.

“Yeah but Stan’s knot tying knowledge might come in handy one day!” He said throwing an arm over Stan’s shoulder. Stan seemed unfazed by this, still stuck in the hurt that Richie’s comment caused him. Fuck. 

——

The game quickly moved on from that. The losers asking each other both disgusting and bizarre would you rather questions. It would move on from that to a game of “fuck, marry, kill” ONLY including their school teachers. Mike was very confused throughout that whole portion of the night. 

It was going great, before truth or dare that is.

“Handsome Hanscom! Truth or dare!” Eddie declared after he just spilled the beans on having peed himself on their first grade field trip to the zoo because he was scared of the giraffes. That’s why his mom had to pick him up early.

“Truth.” Ben picked. Richie groaned. 

“God. All of you are on some pussy shit I swear.”

“When did you first realized you were in love with Bev?” Eddie asked, in that oooy-gooey voice he got when talking about romance. Eddie didn’t show it to too many people, but he was a romantic at heart. When even when watching movies that didn’t interest him, Eddie still was able to find pleasure in the romantic subplots. Richie often would hear the faintest of sighs from Eddie in the movie theater when the handsome charming man character would sweep the lady character off her feet. 

“Ewwwww.” Richie deadpanned.

“It’s kind of dumb but… we were in class and I asked her if she had a pencil I could use. She checked in her pockets and without looking she handed me a lipgloss thinking it was a pencil. Then she went back to her work, not realizing she gave me a lip gloss. I don’t know why but I instantly knew I loved her. She was just so....” Bev groaned, but was blushing none of the less. 

“Stupid?” She finished for him.

“Lovably stupid.” Ben grins.

Richie groaned again. “God, please make it stop!!! I hate them for being happy!!! Well I don’t hate them for being happy, I just hate them for showing me that they’re happy!” Richie’s brain yelled.

“Richie’s just jealous Ben is closer to marrying Bev than he is to marrying Eddie.” Stan quips. Richie didn’t understand what that statement hurt on multiple different levels, multiple different levels that Richie couldn’t name. I guess him and Stan were even now.

The other losers laugh, except him and Eddie. Logic tells Richie, “They don’t mean anything by this, it’s just a joke to them.” But whatever chemical in his body that makes his whole being burn with shame tells him otherwise. Better distract the attention away from himself.

“Ugh, okay, okay, shut up. Ben please let me use your turn. I am bursting to the brim with truths and dares I can use.” Richie pleads. 

“Okay fine, I have no ideas for truths or dares anyways.”

“Yes! Thank you Ben you are my world!” Richie sings. “Hmm. Bill. Truth or dare?”

“D-dare. I’m n-ot o-o-on that p-pussy shit.” Bill says, which sounds pretty funny with his soft spoken stuttering voice.

“I dare you to kiss one of the boys here.” Richie smirks. “Who’s gay now?!” Richie’s brain shouts.

Bill blushes slightly, rolling his eyes. The other losers laugh. Richie feels very proud of his 14 year old brain for coming up with that one.

“C-can I o-opt out?” Bill asks.

“You could do that, but you will be known as the biggest pussy of all history. Turning down a dare can have a long lasting effect on your life. It can even damage your credit score.” Richie explains.

“Wh-wh-what’s a c-credit score?” Bill asks, genuinely confused.

“I don’t know but I know if you pull this pussy shit Bill, it will be damaged.”

Bill groans. “F-fine. I’ll do it. J-just because you’ll probably a-annoy me f-for the rest of m-m-my life if I don’t.”

Richie smiles. “Good choice Bill, now which pair of lips will you get macking on?”

Bill turns to Mike. Mike fake gasps.

“Lil ol’ me? I’m flattered!” 

“L-lets get this over w-with.” Bill rolls his eyes.

Mike puckers up. Bill sighs and pecks him. The other losers hooting and hollering.

“That was a mighty fine kiss.” Mike smiles. Bill blushes and looks away.

“O-okay. Richie. Truth or d-dare.” 

“Um. You can’t pick me I just went!” 

Bill turns to Stan, who is the supreme justice for all games they play. Stan keep everyone in check, making sure the games don’t get out of hand and people cheating. 

“I’ll allow it.” Stan decides. Maybe it's even more payback for whatever Richie said that hurt his feelings earlier. What did he even say again? He has no fucking idea. 

Richie groans. Fine, whatever.

“Dare.” He says, dare as always.

“I d-dare you t-to kiss Eddie.”

Oh no. Richie totally forgot his actions have consequences. 

Dread like no other floods over him. When he’s older Richie would describe this experience as being the second scariest moment of his life. This moment being not too far behind the time Bowers cornered him in the alleyway next to the arcade and had beaten him within an inch of his life.

Richie’s eyes went to Eddie’s next to him. Eddie’s head was lowered to hide his blazing red face. 

“Are you gonna do it Richie or are you on that pussy shit?” Bev laughed. 

“Uh… yeah. I- yeah I guess. If Eddie will do it.” Richie stammers. 

There’s silence as all the losers anticipates Eddie’s response.

“Yeah. Okay.” 

Bev, Ben, Bill, and Mike cheer. Richie wants to fucking die.

He lets out a breath, and clenches his eyes. “You can do this, it's a kiss. Bill and Mike did it. They were fine. It’s just a kiss. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.” He reasons to himself. 

He turns to Eddie. The boys big brown eyes are already staring up at him. With furrowed brows and blushing cheeks, Richie leans in.

In an instant, Richie knew he’d never be able to go back. 

The rush he felt when pretty boys at the arcade would ask him if he wanted to play against them in one of the two player games. He was able to look past it.

The longing glances to the book ‘Maurice’ that he’d seen on the shelf in the library. How he had picked it up, read the back, and threw it back down like it had burned him. He’d thought about it for the next two weeks, unable to distract his mind from anything other than the thought of that book. He was able to look past it.

Even the Playgirl that he stole from his older sisters room as he was trying to steal her money that she hid in her sock drawer. How it's currently shoved under his mattress in his room right now. He was able to look past that.

But as he felt Eddies lips pressed against his, and the feeling of his jackhammer heart inside his chest. He knows he won’t be able to look back, that there isn’t a way he can still find it in himself to think that he’s straight.

That there isn’t a way that he can still find it in himself to think that he’s not in love with Eddie.

Richie sits back on his heels. The kiss lasted for one second but it somehow caused Richie to allow himself to to feel something other then dread more in that one second then he has since he started hitting puberty.

“Are you guys happy now?” Eddie asks annoyed. The other losers continue to laugh while nodding their heads.

And there’s that shame he had, it left for a solid one second but now its back. Itching its way up the back of his neck. 

This is a joke. You’re a joke. You’re ridiculous for kissing a boy. You’re disgusting for enjoying it.


End file.
